I’ve been working on this HUGE research project since this past March, researching a friend’s Scottish roots (among other things). And not too far back on that line, I hit a brick wall. Now, that’s not uncommon, as any researcher can tell you. But it’s usually pretty frustrating.

So, there I was – 4 generations back and stuck. Now, Scotland records are usually pretty good, and their online records are quite extensive, so it was all the more frustrating to me. I searched everywhere for how to go back further. His marriage record listed his parents’ names, but for all I tried I couldn’t come up with a birth record for him. I tried from every angle I could think of. Looked in census records. Tried to find the parents’ marriage record. Looked for possible siblings. Hunted, and dug, then dug again and HUNTED again. Let me tell you, I was getting a bit discouraged. What to do?

So, I decided to look and see if he was in anyone else’s published tree to see if anyone had referenced an actual birth record for him. Well, well – yes, someone (several someone’s, in fact) had. BUT they all listed a different surname for his mother than what he listed in his own marriage record. BUT father’s name was the same (and yes, it was a very common name – the equivalent of John Smith in England), and the mother’s first name was the same. The place of birth was in the right general area, and the date of birth was plausible and more or less agreed with census records for him after his marriage.

But I was bothered by that surname being different – after all, most sons know their own mother’s maiden name! So, I thought – maybe she was married before and the surname he gave was from a previous husband. Or maybe she married again and that was her current husband’s surname. So, with a new tack to take, I started digging again. And dug, and hunted, and hunted and dug AGAIN. And that didn’t prove out. So now I was right back to where I started, only now my choice was to either admit to a brick wall or accept someone else’s information with no way to prove it with facts and documents.

Well, as Arya once said – That’s not me. So, I kept going back to it, every time I had a few spare minutes during my other research on my friend’s other lines.  And kept getting nowhere.  Man, it was frustrating!  But it takes more than a few brick walls to get ME to quit!  So I kept going over it in my mind.  And decided to check probate records, on the off chance he was mentioned in his father’s will.  And there it was.  And in finding his father I discovered an entire family story that would otherwise have been lost to time.

His father died at the age of 42, having never married.  His son had, in fact, been born to the woman listed on the son’s marriage record, but was illegitimate.  Where the mother seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth, as I couldn’t find her on any records after the son’s birth, I discovered she had in fact married – but to someone else.  She had not raised her own firstborn – that had been accomplished by her mother, which is why I hadn’t found him in census records prior to his marriage (he had such a common name I was looking for him with a mother named Elizabeth – and he was instead with his grandmother).  The father’s probate record was administered by the deceased brother, who reminded the court that the deceased had issue that he recognized as his own.  So, even though the birth record (that I eventually found) for the son listed NO father’s name, he had in fact later acknowledged him and given him his own surname (which was why he used that name on his marriage record, even though it wasn’t the one on his birth record – on THAT record the father’s surname was listed as the son’s MIDDLE name(!!) and he was given his MOTHER’S surname.  When the son was born, the father was under the legal age to marry, and perhaps his family objected and wouldn’t give permission.  After the son’s birth, the grandmother took him to raise and the mother went on – quite quickly – to marry someone else, probably feeling she could do better than marrying into THAT family (lol…).  Her marriage was successful, by all accounts, and they had 10 children together, but she never brought her firstborn into that family which is why I never found him on a census record prior to his marriage living with a mother named Elizabeth.  AFTER, of course, he was much easier to find!  And finding him revealed a couple of other family secrets having to do with his Aunt Mary, but that’s another story!

So, I went from a brick wall to the possibility of using undocumented research to the reality of finding the truth about him.  And that enabled me to go back 3 more generations!  All with the correct documentation to back it all up.  It’s VERY satisfying – and that feeling (an odd mixture of happiness, relief, and satisfaction) is why I hate to give up on brick walls.  And it’s only possible by doing YOUR OWN research WITH proper documentation instead of the suppositions (well, it COULD be right – let’s just assume it is!) of those who either don’t want to put in the work, don’t know how to do it and decide to take the easiest path, or mistakenly think that others MUST be right, since they put it in their tree (even though there are unresolved discrepancies in the documents – if any – they cite).

So: Always, always, ALWAYS do your own research!  If you can’t do it, ask a professional researcher either to do it for you (usually at a cost, so be prepared), or to help you learn how properly (which usually involves classes).  And NEVER give up – the truth is out there somewhere, and with time and patience, and sometimes a bit of luck, you might just find it!

© Deborah Ray and archivecookie.com, 2019.